Bad Drivers and Age Discrimination

Hello, Estes, it's me, Gloria.
Estes, I gotta tell you what happened to me.
Well, Estes, Eunice and I volunteered to take our dear friends Wally and Kittylicious to the airport last week.
They were taking a vacation to get away from it all. (by "all" I personally think they needed a rest from their four grown children and the drama only girl children can whip up in their lives, you know what I mean , Estes?)
So there we were with Eunice behind the wheel, driving like a maniac trying to get them to the airport in time.
I want to go on record here Estes, it would be in the best interest of all mankind if someone called the DMV and let them know that a certain someone whose name rhymes with pumice should give up her right to drive, you know what I mean Estes? I mean really, there should come a time in a girl's life when she realizes, "I just can't do the things I use to". Let's just say we are all lucky to be alive today Estes!
Anyway, here's what I gotta tell you, dear. We pulled that Ford Fairlane right into that spot and who should zip up in that airport shuttle that resembles an old Disneyland cart, but the airport courtesy man. For Pete sakes Estes, that shuttle never stopped for me when I was a blond , you know what I mean? Our grey heads must have shouted "I'm old and feeble". Well, Estes, while I was madder than a hornet, I was gracious and stepped on to that contraption. It nearly snapped my neck off when he took off like he was driving in the Indy-500. But I made my point Estes, he didn't get a tip! Eunice was trying to engage him in a conversation, but I don't think he was interested in her tomato garden.
That's the trouble with the world today, Estes. People judge a book by it's cover. While I admit my cover might look like "The Fall of Roman Civilization", The inside still feels like "Cinderella", you know what I mean Estes?
Have a good day, dear. I'll try to write again soon.
Love,
Gloria

So you have a little lumbago...

I woke up this morning and my first thought was "I've got to oil the hinges on this bed". It took a minute for my grey-haired head to figure out the squeaking was my bones. Honest to goodness, Estes, my bones squeaked. Well, it didn't take long for the rest of my old body to follow the lead. By gum, I didn't realize this old Caddy had that many nooks and crannies and each one hurt like the dickens.
Now, I'll be the first one to tell you, getting older can be great. But like my old friend the apostle Paul once said, "the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak".
So Estes, here's what I gotta tell you. Push, Estes, push!
Now, I surprised Eunice the other day, woke that old bird up at 9:00 am. She wasnt too happy about it either, but you know Estes, I moved her boney old carcas out of that bed and got her moving. (I'm pretty sure she won't be too happy that I snapped her sassy little expression with my Kodak, Estes, you know what I mean?)
But I gotta tell you, I've been around the block enough times to know, you gotta trick the old bones into thinking they aren't worth a nickel. Let the mind be in charge Estes, you know what I mean?
So today Estes, I'm gonna fake it till I feel it. I'm gonna put on my old SAS shoes and let the world know I'm here and glad of it.
I made you a video, Estes to help you with the "one-two". I'll send it on over later.
Hope you enjoy it. Have a nice day Estes!